Today has been one of those days that plays out like a story.
You don't realize it at first, but when you get to the end of the day, sit down, and take a deep breath . . . you kind of get smacked in the face with it.
Everything was working together and interweaving itself like a well-crafted plot to bring me to a resolution. And that resolution is this:
I'm going to be writing letters to some people.
Kind of apologies, kind of confessions, kind of not really either . . . I just feel like I need to clear some things up once and for all, make amends, be totally honest. So, how about we call them honesty letters?
I just feel like there are several issues and events in my life that I've never moved through. I (and anyone they happen to involve) have just sort of ignored them, or maybe briefly grazed the surface of them in an attempt at reconciliation. But, to me at least, they're still hovering in the air and restricting the path of my relationships with other people and my self.
I want to confess feelings I've had and apologize for wrongful actions and seek forgiveness and resolution for all parties in all situations. I want to be free from feeling bound by those past issues or mistakes or whatever. Clear the air and breathe easier. Have foundations for relationships built on the stone of heartfelt honesty rather than the sinking sand of comfortable ignorance.
This is a messy jumble of thoughts and I'm not going to try to make it anything less. Hopefully it makes sense.
-I say "like" far too much. Especially when I'm really thinking about what I'm trying to say, and feeling like it's not coming out right.
-I'm so grateful for the people in my life. I have such wonderful family and friends and I appreciate all of you so much - I don't say that enough. (I mean, I knew that, it was just very apparent today.)
-God answers prayers . . . like (there it is again), really, solidly answers prayers. Sometimes tons of them all at once and then you realize that His timing is perfect. I love it.
-I have a story, and I'm ready to share it.